


rather be a ghost

by secretlyaspeedster



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Flash (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), RHATO (Comics), Supersons (Comics)
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth - Freeform, Angst, Arsenal - Freeform, Batman - Freeform, Bruce Wayne - Freeform, DC won’t let anyone be happy, Damian is sad, Death, Drabble, Heroes in Crisis - Freeform, Nightwing - Freeform, Okay so Damian is really the only one in this I guess, Superboy - Freeform, Talk of drug abuse, Titans, canon character death, jayroy if you squint, past drug abuse, ughhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 07:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16214168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretlyaspeedster/pseuds/secretlyaspeedster
Summary: Everything is falling apart in the DC universe.Damian is starting to feel the ripple effects..it seems that happiness has been forgotten.





	rather be a ghost

What’s it like to feel forgotten?

Maybe Jason knows. When Jason was mere moments away from death did he feel forgotten? He hasn’t spoken about his death... not in a long time. Jason hadn’t been around the manor much even before he shot Penguin and Father had to reprimand his second son. His son that died in a fiery explosion alone.

When Jason came back from the dead, did he think that he would never be replaced or did he fear that everyone’s lives moved fine without him..?

He was angry when he realized it was the latter.

Wally knows. He most certainly probably does. The redheaded speedster must have felt trapped, too. Looking through a one sided glass window that he couldn’t break. No one remembered him and they didn’t even know he was ever there..  


When Wally came back, only a few people remembered him, and Linda didn’t even want to try. Barry pulled his nephew from that prison because he had remembered.

Did he feel like he would be remembered when he died again, right before he was killed? Did he walk back into enough people’s lives so that he would be remembered and that memory wouldn’t fade? Perhaps he can rest easy. No one would forget Wally ever again.

Roy must know. The man’s life was cracked, frayed. Nowhere near perfect. Was it fear that led him down the dark pathway to drugs? Roy said to Jason that he feared he would die. Maybe Roy also had feared being forgotten when he died. He never seem to want to be left behind. His father left him behind and sacrificed himself in a fire to save others. His guardian left him behind just enough for Roy to fall into the drugs. Jason left Roy behind, Kori left Roy behind, Donna left Roy behind and so did Jade.

 

Could Roy have been afraid of being left behind and forgotten? Maybe he was. The only way he could seem to cope with this, ironically, was getting lost in the booze and drugs so that he could forget himself, too.

 

Roy died trying to face his fears.

Damian doesn’t like the idea of being forgotten, and he hates to stomach his pride to even think of something like that. 

Death scared Damian. The first time, he didn’t see it coming until it pierced his small body and he knew he was truly human. And ex-assassin, a Robin, a boy. A bloodied, dying boy. Human.

Damian obviously can acknowledge that most people fear death (Lanterns are a big fat exception to this) and that there are many reasons to fear death. He’s come to the conclusion that’s a big, popular reason to fear death was that you would eventually be forgotten after you died. It was nothing but a fact. Through the trails of time, your name would be said less. Your face would get harder and harder to see in people’s minds. No one will recall what your voice sounded like, or some of the things you would always used to say.

But after pondering over all of his memories, all of the people he knows and has known...

You can’t _only_ be forgotten in death. 

He’s starting to think that he rather be dead and forgotten instead of living in being forgotten. The first one stung less. 

After returning to the living world, Damian saw that no one forgot about him. If they had, he would still be dead. And it’s ironic, because here he was now—

Here he was now, laying on his bedroom floor, pressing his face into Titus’ fur because even though he isn’t dead he fears that he’s still being forgotten and he hasn’t cleared his mind enough to think of a way to make things better. 

His best friend isn’t on this earth anymore. No, he isn’t dead. But he isn’t here, either. There is no tombstone. Gone, but not dead. No one would forget about Jon. Would Jon forget about him?

Maybe he’s already forgotten.

And it’s not like Damian can have the right to be upset. He cannot control Jon, and Jon has to grow up. He’s growing up. It just.. hurts. It hurts Damian whenever he has the urge to talk to his partner and crime and he is not able to. 

Damian may be easy to forget. That’s another fear he has. Being easy to forget, or being forgotten and you can’t control it.

Dick has forgotten and it’s uncontrollable.

 

The man cannot remember himself. He isn’t dead, he’s alive, but he cannot remember his own being. Where is he? Damian can remember, so why can’t he? He remembers everything, everyone remembers everything.. except Dick.

_What are the rules in this sick game?_

 

Damian‘s head hurts. It has since Jon left. It got worse when Dick took a bullet to the head. Even worse when Roy died and Jason broke down into ugly, wretched sobs in Damian‘s arms. Even worse when Dick woke from his coma. It hurt when Flash came to the manor, eyes puffy and bloodshot from undoubtedly nights upon nights of crying to tell Batman that he would need time off from League stuff. This dull throbbing behind his eyes and at the sides of his ears won’t let him sleep. It’s triggered bad memories. Nightmares. But the manor is empty again. He can’t go to the Kent’s to drag Jon out of bed for a late night mission and he can’t sneak over to Dick’s place to watch a dumb movie. 

His thoughts would just continue to echo off the walls and him. Everything seemed to be crumbling around him uncontrollably and tearing violently with no remorse until—

There’s a knock at Damian’s bedroom door and his eyes open. Alfred’s naturally warm eyes don’t match his strained voice. 

“Dinner, master Damian.”

“Thank you. I’ll be down in a moment,”

The door closes quietly, and it’s back to silence.

 

Not that it’s ever actually silent.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya thanks for reading! Sorry this was short and sad, I randomly had the idea. I hope it’s all spelled correctly and such.  
> Leave a comment if you want! Have a good day (sorry I haven’t updated my other story I have going on fshshshsh)


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